You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to rewrite this beginning, going over it again and again in my head. I’m overthinking it. So I’ll just start with sorry. I’m sorry I left.
I moved from where I had been calling home for the previous four years, left my friends, my job and all that I knew. I was drowning in my depression and anxiety, and that’s where I’ve been for the last five years. Bobbing up and down, trying to keep afloat.
It’s not all bad. So let’s have a catch up. I did manage to find another job eventually, even after McDonalds turned me down. I bought a house, a new car, wrote off the new car, and last year I got married. Yep, I married that man who I fell in love with on Twitter and gained a stepson too. Then as these things go, we tried for a baby, and well, then got that dreaded infertility diagnosis this week. So that’s where we’re at.
I’d tried a couple of times over the last few years to get back into Twitter. I miss the lovely people, and always sang their praises to others. Everytime I went back though, despite the warm welcome, my anxiety and paranoia stopped me. I never made a secret of my blogging past with people, I felt like it’s a big part of who I am, and I found it difficult not having somewhere to write my thoughts down and process. Creating a new Twitter account this time has helped massively, and whilst I’m sure there are so many people who I still need to search out and follow, I feel I have more control over who is following me and I am not afraid to block those I do not want to find me. Thank you to all of you who have been so kind in welcoming me back. It’s really helped me feel more like me again.
Are you following my new Twitter and Instagram accounts? Search ‘Missus Whispers’.
I’m not going to keep going on about the past, I feel I need to make my peace with it and move forward.
So here’s to the future, to more blogging, more body posivity, acceptance, sex, reviews, learning, growing and friendships.